


Goodbye

by Fishpaste



Series: Guns and Roses [6]
Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: F/F, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Set after the Jack the Ripper Arc
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-16
Updated: 2020-02-16
Packaged: 2021-02-27 19:22:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22760923
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fishpaste/pseuds/Fishpaste
Summary: The Master has finally come back from hunting down Jack the Ripper. His servants are delighted to see him, but less pleased when he shares the news of what was sacrificed during his case. They all mourn the loss of the Lady An Burnett, alongside her faithful Butler, Grell Sutcliff.
Relationships: Mey-Rin/Grell Sutcliff
Series: Guns and Roses [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1530824
Comments: 2
Kudos: 15





	Goodbye

The manor was always so quiet when the Young Master was away in London. Not that there weren’t plenty of day to day disasters for the servants to keep on top of, but somehow things went so much easier when you didn’t have to worry about getting Sebastian’s disappointed look the moment you fell over and dropped yet another stack of beautiful plates or cups. With them both gone, Mey Rin could manage to relax and slow down, do things more carefully and therefore there were fewer disasters. The downside of course was that Sebastian wasn’t there to see them all working so well. Bard never tried really fancy cooking without Sebastian there to show off to, and he wasn’t actually that bad at simple things like breads and stews and porridge. Finny probably did less actual work than usual, but he also did less damage than usual, just spending his time wandering the estates and enjoying the good weather.

So all three servants were in a good mood as they saw the Master’s carriage pulling up to the manor again. It was earlier than they’d expected him back, Tanaka had implied that the Season could go on for a few weeks more depending on the weather and what the aristocrats were feeling like this year, and besides, the young Master had plenty of business aspects to get to in the city so no one had been expected him back for a month or so at least.

Quickly lining up in front of the manor, smiles bright and cheerful greetings flying as Sebastian pulled the coach up and jumped down smartly to assist his Master out of the coach. It was a celebratory feeling that was quickly quashed as they got a good look at the young Earl’s face. Ciel looked so much older than his twelve years, worn and tired and thin, as though he’d seen horrors, and knew that he was never going to stop seeing horrors and losing things, no matter how hard he fought, the world would always be unfair and heartless and punish him for every choice he tried to make. Mey Rin felt her heart sink down to her boots, he hadn’t looked like that since she’d first come here, back when he’d been so blank eyed and cold that she had almost wondered if he was actually human. What could possibly have happened in London to make him retreat to that again?

Bardroy, Finny and her exchanged glances as Ciel listlessly accepted their greetings and went indoors with Sebastian, probably to hole himself up in his study and work until he fell asleep, as he’d done a lot when he’d first been setting up his company. The servants retreated back to the kitchen, to discuss what might have happened and how they could help fix it, none of them were in the mood to try anything big though, not without knowing if it would make things worse.

Eventually Sebastian came back down, and they swarmed around him in concern as he set about making something complicated and sweet for the Earl. And that was a warning sign too really, usually Sebastian would be half forcing the Earl into eating a proper dinner, reminding him that desserts were not to be eaten at every meal and that he would rot off all his teeth; if he was simply allowing Ciel to not only have dessert for dinner, but to eat it in his study while he worked, then the Master must be in a very bad shape indeed.

Thankfully Sebastian was willing to tell them what had happened, that the Master’s investigation had gone well, and he had caught Jack the Ripper, but his Aunt had been slain in the fight to subdue the murderer. May Rin’s breath caught in horror, the beautiful Madame Red? So bright and glamorous, killed trying to protect her nephew? One of Ciel’s few living family members and she’d been ruthlessly cut down right in front to his eyes. Oh no, poor young Master! She and Bard exchanged horrified looks, and Finny was practically in tears himself, he had such a soft heart for anyone hurting.

“I trust that all of you understand this will be a difficult time for the Earl?” Sebastian was saying and they nodded fervently, even Tanaka joining in. “So to make it easier for him right now, I’m expecting all of you to be on your best behaviour, no accidents or disasters that could cause the young Master any distress. Understood?” He said with that silkily smooth threat to his voice that meant this was very important. Mey Rin barely stopped herself from saluting him, and Bard actually did, before lowering his hand sheepishly as Sebastian shot him a disdainful look and began heading out of the kitchen, holding the tray with the Master’s dinner on it easily despite the weight of it, and Mey Rin knew just how heavy those silver trays could get!

Bard swore under his breath and turned back to the stove, ready to start cleaning and Mey Rin sighed, looking towards the door and rather wanting a hug from someone. It wasn’t as though she’d known the lady that well…but she wasn’t used to having any connection at all to the people that died, the grief after a death was still strangely new to her and hurt each time. Then something else occurred to her and she gasped, running straight out of the room after Sebastian.

“Waaaaiiiiittt! Mister Sebastian!” She wailed, thudding down the hallway to where he was. He turned, one eyebrow raised questioningly just as her treacherous laces got loose again, catching under her boots and sending her flying forward an impressive distance to slam straight into him. 

There was a moment of confusion and then she found herself being held up by his arm, looking up at his long suffering expression as he lay on the floor, knocked down by a flying maid, and holding the silver tray above both of their heads. Everything froze for a long moment as Mey Rin turned beet red and then Sebastian heaved a long, deeply patient sigh and pushed her upright again, standing up himself, and she would have been amazed at how he somehow managed to keep the tray level and secure through all this if she hadn’t been so busy wishing the ground would open up and eat her or something. Why did this always happen around him?

“Yes, Mey Rin?” He said, the tone so put upon and tired that she felt even worse, but the beautiful dark eyes fixed upon her, that stunning face and the memory of how it felt to be pressed up against his chest again all serving to make her dissolve into a puddle of goo on the floor. But then the remembrance of what she’d meant to come out to ask him hit her like a bucket of icy water and she got herself back under control again, blinking up at him.

“Um…well…I just wanted to, um…”

“Some time _today,_ if you would.”

“I was just wondering what was goin’ to happen to Grell Sutcliff now?” She squeaked out. “If ‘is mistress is gone now?” Her mistress technically, but Sebastian had never really had any time for the clumsy but sweet butler Mey Rin loved so dearly, and now probably wasn’t the time to push. “Because they could come here right? As a…a…footman or somethin’ of course!” She added quickly, as though Grell, amazing and wonderful as she might be, would ever be able to be a butler to rival Sebastian.

“Mey Rin…”

“An’ I know he was a fair bit o’trouble last time and all, but he does care, and he _could_ help an’ he could look after everything-“

“Mey Rin.”

“Because he already knows about the young Lord bein’, um, the Watchdog so’s it would be alright for him to-“

“ _Mey Rin!_ ” He snapped at last and she fell silently, feeling her heart squeezing in her chest. Surely he wouldn’t just say no, she knew he hadn’t liked Grell much, but Ciel might appreciate the last link to his aunt and it would be better to have more servants who knew the truth around right? Besides, Grell was trainable, more so than the other servants to be honest, and she really _did_ try hard.

“Sir?”

“Grell Sutcliff was killed along with Lady Burnett.” Sebastian said shortly, and then turned and walked away as though he hadn’t just torn Mey Rin’s heart out of her chest and shredded it to pieces.

“Killed?” She repeated numbly at his retreating back. Grell had died there? Protecting her mistress, and maybe Ciel and Sebastian as well? But…Grell had said they were a Grim Reaper, surely that made her immortal? She was something supernatural, with fiery red hair and wicked sharp teeth when she chose to show them, and soft green eyes that Mey Rin had practically been able to drown in and long hands that could hold you close and safe and comfort you after the world had fallen apart. Mey Rin swallowed and wrapped her own arms around herself, a sad imitation of the hug she suddenly felt as if she badly needed.

Sebastian wouldn’t lie, and he didn’t make mistakes. Mey Rin had never actually asked if Grell was immortal…she’d just assumed. A stupid thing to do, she’d never expected…this blow had just come out of nowhere, had carved out Mey Rin’s heart and lungs, leaving her suddenly hollow and empty and cold. Those soft smiles, wiped away forever? That gentle laugh, the occasional sly slips of sarcasm and humour, silenced? That warm beating pulse beneath her skin stilled and cold?

She drew in a choked breath, her eyes horribly dry even as her lungs gasped and her breathing hitched. Grell… Grell had cared for her, and Mey Rin had loved her, loved her with a strength that took her by surprise. Why had she died? What monster could have taken her down, why had she fought instead of running? Mey Rin almost followed back again after Sebastian to ask, to find out everything that had happened and led to Grell Sutcliff, her love, lying dead and still and lost; but then the idea of hearing Sebastian’s cold clinical voice describing somebody murdering the woman Mey Rin had loved, had loved so very very much, she didn’t think she could bear that. So instead she bit her lip until it hurt, until the pain reminded her that she was still here and alive, even if one of the biggest reasons for continuing that life had just been wiped away.

Arms still wrapped tightly around herself she turned, making her unsteady way back towards the kitchen, she needed to be with people, she felt if she were left alone right now, the horror and pain and grief might just rip through her and leave her useless and hurt and helpless herself.

Grell was _gone._ The person who’d stopped, who’d noticed Mey Rin, called her beautiful and amazing, who had smiled and laughed with her, held her when the nightmares hit, soothed her when the memories were overpowering, helped her when she was clumsy and awkward and dropped things or spilt them and ruined them. She was gone, lost forever and Mey Rin hadn’t even had a chance to say goodbye, hadn’t known that the woman she loved had been taken from her, hadn’t been able to protect Grell, not even with all the talents she had, she’d been away and useless and had let Grell down, let her down so badly…

She pushed open the kitchen door and practically ran over to where Bard turned, honest concern on his face as he saw her expression. He caught her automatically in a hug, anxiously asking what was wrong as she buried her face in the comforting reassurance of his chest, breathing in the smell of ash and smoke and bread that followed him around. She managed to gasp out Grell’s name as the tears began to pour, sobs shaking through her. Finny was suddenly there too, holding her securely between the two of them as she cried over her loss and sobbed out her pain and despair. Bard was holding her tightly, and she didn’t need to look up to see the understanding and grief on his face too, he’d liked Grell, as much work as the other had caused, they’d been friends, and Finny was crying with her, mourning the loss of another member of their far too small family.

**Author's Note:**

> Come hang out with me on tumblr if you want to chat about these lovely characters some more! Red-Butler


End file.
